I Got Spammed By An A-Hole

I was looking forward to a nice Merdeka morning today. I was about to go down to my local Mamak stall for a Roti Kosong and Teh Tarik when I decided to check my e-mail:

From: RoyKeane16 [mailto:gloryglorymanutd@hotmail.com]

Sent: Monday, August 31, 2009 3:46AM

To: Gerrard Lim [mailto:xxxxxx@gmail.com

Subject: nice joke to perk up your morning

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Hey Loser!

Here's a joke for you:

A Liverpool fan went to his Doctor.

Pool fan: Doctor! Doctor! My arse is talking!

Doctor: What does it say?

Pool fan bends over.

Arse: Liverpool will win the Premier League this season!

Doctor: Ahh...not to worry. A lot of arses say this nowadays...

Regards,

The Red Devil

Fuck!!! Who the hell is the Red Devil??!! Fucker!!! I wasted 3 hours googling for Manure jokes to reply to this anonymous wanker.

I bet it's Adrian...bitch!

MERDEKA

Gerrard Lim wishes every Malaysian a Happy 52nd National Day.

We have come a long way...but the journey has only just begun. Here's to a wonderful year (and years and years and years) ahead.

Now if only we can find a way to get rid of all those corny patriotic songs. In the future, can't we just commission them to bands such as Meet Uncle Hussain, Pop Shuvit, et al?

Gerrard's Wonder Goal & Diaby's Idiotic "Winner"

OMGWTF!!!

Steven Gerrard bounced back with a wonder strike against hapless Bolton!!!I think I shed a tear when the ball hit the net. What a stunner!!!

It could have been a glorious weekend for Liverpool but Abou "Idiot" Diaby had to gift a goal to the Mancs!!! WTF!!!idiot!!!

On another note, I have been able to avoid Brian in the past week. But I really need to raise RM500 quick! I am thinking of getting a part time job....

OR....perhaps I should just make another bet with Brian, instead?

Please Ignore the Previous Post!!!

OMG!!! HELP!!! How do I delete a post in Blogger!!?? Can someone please help me??!!

SHIT!!! I embedded a wrong video in the post. 

This is the correct video of Eduardo diving...if you are still interested.

Say No To Diving!!!

There's been quite a debate going on these past few days about diving in football, It all started from the Eduardo diving incident. The stupid cunt dived to earn ARSEnal a penalty and a place in the Champions League group stage.

This diving debacle is nothing new. Ronaldo has been diving for the past 4-5 seasons and nothing can be done to stop it. IMHO, the FA should not only punish the players with a 2-3 match ban, their teams should have points deducted as well.

Check out the video of Eduardo diving...it says it all...disgusting wanker!!!

My Bolton vs Liverpool Prediction

Bolton 0 - 3 Liverpool

Liverpool will bounce back with an emphatic victory against Bolton. i predict that my hero, Steven Gerrard will score all three goals (hat-trick!!!) after the words of encouragement from Rafa Benitez.

~~~ YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE ~~~

Liverpool 1 - 3 Aston Villa :-(

OMG!!!This is bad news. I have decided to stay in bed today. Told mum that I am coming down with a fever; but I think I am falling into depression....first Emily, now Aston Villa. I slept until noon today. My mum woke me up for lunch.

She told me that my mobile phone was ringing non stop the whole morning. I checked my phone after lunch. 21 missed calls!!! "Who could it possibly be?" I wondered as I checked the call list....BRIAN TAN!!! OMG!!! I just remembered about that stupid bet!!!

Fuck!!!

 

Easiest 500 Bucks Ever!!!

Suckers are born every minute. It's true!!!

I just made a bet with my friend, Brian Tan. The idiotic ARSEnal fan has been babbling about his team's form and style of play and bla, bla, bla. That I can take; but this morning he went too far!

He called Liverpool boring!!?? I mean WTF? Chelski is boring! Liverpool is NOT boring! They are one of the most exciting football team in Europe!! I told him that after the setback (loss at Tottenham HotSpuds), Liverpool will take the Premier League by storm this season.

Then stupid Brian said with a sneer "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?"

So I responded "Why don't YOU put your money where your mouth is?! Let's make a bet! I say Liverpool will beat Aston Villa by a two goal margin! 500 bucks!!"

I couldn't believe my ears when Brian said "OK loser...you are on."

LOL!!! Let's see who the loser is when you part with RM500, loser!!!

I am thinking of getting a second hand PSP with the money...can hardly wait for the match to start!!!

Heartbroken :'-(

I can't believe it!!! I found Adrian all right...

He was walking out of Starbucks with Emily...

...HOLDING HANDS!!!

WTF!!!

How can my angel be holding hands with that idiot??!! I can't believe it...my love is gone just like that :(((((((((

Sigh...I am watching LIVERPOOL'S BEST 100 GOALS to console myself....I just have to remember to fast forward every Michael Owen goal...still can't believe he joined the Manure shithole...

Liverpool 4 - 0 Stoke!!! Burnley 1 - 0 Manure!!!!!!

YES!!!YES!!!YES!!!Liverpool bounced back from the unjust defeat to the Spuds convincingly!!!Read the match report here:

Liverpool 4 - 0 Stoke City

And the icing on the cake...MANURE lost to Burnley!!!!LMAO!!!ROTFL!!! 

I can't wait to see Adrian today. I sent him an SMS but he did not reply. I bet he's in hiding because his stupid team lost. I will be wearing my Liverpool jersey to class today.


I really can't wait to see Adrian today!!! Finally!!! My turn to laugh at him...

~~~~~YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE~~~~~

Tottenham 2 - 1 Liverpool

OMG!!!WTF!!!Did you guys watch the game??? The referee screwed us over!!! We should have won!!!Or at least draw!!!It was clearly a blantant handball!!!How can that not be a penalty!!!This is a bloody conspiracy!!!The referee must be a Manure fan!!!

THIS IS DEPRESSING!!!ESPECIALLY AFTER MANURE AND CHELSKI GOT THEIR LUCKY WINS!!!~!

Bad Day...Very Bad Day

It was supposed to be a very good day today. It was a Friday after all, with the weekend just around the corner...the weekend that English Premier League finally kicks off!

I was wearing my brand new Liverpool away jersey (this one's complete with TORRES 9 at the back) which my mum got for my birthday last month. I was feeling rather smug; especially when I noticed people were checking out my top. I guess not many people have had a chance to see it first hand yet. It is definitely a whole lot nicer than the fugly Manure jersey that Adrian wore last week.

As I strode into class, I couldn't help but to notice Adrian's astonished face. Green with envy...or is it? For suddenly, he let out a big guffaw.

"Hey guys! Guys! Check out Gerrard's jersey...it says CALRSBERG!" Within a matter of seconds, the whole class was on to me like a pack of hyenas.

"Where the hell did you get that jersey from, Gerrard? The pasar malam???" Adrian hollered.

"Fuck off Adrian! It's original...I got it from Kitbag.com" I lied.

At that very moment, our lecturer, Mr Arumugam stepped into the classroom. I scampered all the way to the back of the classroom as I frantically texted my mum:

OMG!!!MUM WHR DID U GET MY JERSEY FROM??!!

GOT IT FROM THE SPORTS SHOP NEAR SOGO.Y?

OMG!!!I DONT THINK ITS ORIGINAL!!!SHIT!!!SHIT!!!

ITS ORIGINAL DEAR. THE GUY AT THE SHOP SAID SO. NO DISCOUNTS 2 BCOS ITS THE LATEST DESIGN. I PAID RM50 4 IT.

ARGHHHHH!!!!NOOO!!!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Let's see if you are so happy when Birmingham beat the Manure scums! Asshole!

I Think I am in Love...

Emily looks very pretty today. Something about her is different today. I think she did something with her hair. Then, as we were leaving the class today, our eyes met. I held her gaze for what seems like an eternity...then I smiled. She returned my smile with a sweet little "Hello" before disappearing down the hallway.

I think I am in love....

New Girl in Class

There's this new girl in class today. Her name is Emily. Rumours were flying around that she is a part-time model; she definitely looks the part...in fact, she would be a supermodel in my books! All eyes were on her today...especially Shirley's - the hottest girl (or should I say ex hottest girl) in class.

You should see the look on Shirley's face. If looks could kill, Emily would've been a bloody piece of red pulp by now. Hahaha...serves you right, you stuck up Ah Lian bitch! No guys to fawn over you anymore. Not so high and mighty now, huh?

Adrian was being an ass-clown as usual (what else can you expect from a Manure fan?). He was trying on stupid pick up lines on Emily; "Your daddy must be a terrorist cos you da bomb"...lame. If I were him, I'd use something less juvenile, someting more eloquent...such as "If you were a library book, I'd check you out!".

After five minutes of his idiocy, Emily scowled at him and told him to pipe down. Serves him right...the girl's definitely got class.